Expression

I wrote a long email last week trying to explain certain matters, and later on showed Vivian what I have written. She complemented me saying that I have ability to explain things well in writings, but then commented that it would be good if I would be able to do the same with my verbal presentation.

:(

God created everyone to be different. Not talking about "gifts" that ultimately are given for the common edification, but just simple things like how one observes, perceives, digests and expresses. Writing has been my preferred way of expressing myself as it works with my thinking pattern. I am a slow thinker - actually verbal expressions and thinking do not usually mix for me. Nor am I a streamline logical thinker - thinking through a chain list of implications one after another just do not happen to me. Scattered ideas usually bubbles up in bits and pieces, and thankfully I am competent enough to pierce those ideas together to form one single argument that hopefully looks logical when it is presented.

On the other hand - I can't talk. Partly physical - I can't talk for long otherwise I'll start coughing. Sometimes my tongue is just not as flexible as I would like it to be, and even I'm convinced that I do have some speech problem. Seriously, I spent 6 months going through speech therapy 5 years ago, and the result I'll say was pretty fruitless (and damn expensive). But the real issue is that I cannot really think and continuously talk at the same time - next time you see Scott talking non-sense or repeating himself, you'll know that his mouth is suffering from this "buffer under-run" problem, lacking in data-feed from the brain.

Yeah. People are different. But how much more do I wish that I can verbally express myself well! Not just something that the world looks out for, but also what many ministry opportunities demand for...