Microsoft and Catholic Church

There is an interesting satirical article on titled "Microsoft Bids to Acquire Catholic Church".

Basically, it is a news report on how Microsoft is trying to acquire the Roman Catholic Church. This merger between the software giant and Vatican-based religion will grant Pope John Paul II a seat in the combined enterprise's Religious Software Division. At the same time, Microsoft will receive exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and Vatican's art collections. Moreover, this merge also allows Microsoft to sell indulgences on-line. "Reduce your time in Purgatory - at the comfort of your living room through advance technologies like wireless network, Windows XPTM and Microsoft ChurchTM".

It then draws some similarities between Microsoft and the Roman Catholic Church. For example, "Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it." Maybe it is not that applicable to the Catholic churches today, hundreds of years after the crusade, but it is indeed an interesting comparison.

What follows is Microsoft's secularistic long-term strategy - having one single scalable religious architecture that will support all religious through emulation. I guess somehow Mr. Gates believes all religions have a somehow compatible layer with different user interfaces. Wait until he tries to port "Salvation By Grace" to Buddhism, where your actions and mind actually contribute to your next incarnation. Aaarrgh. Wrong API call. BSoD.

There is also a little section on what David Gottschalk, a Jewish Rabbi, says about this merger. He insists that Bible has been invented by Judaism long before Catholic came to existence, but because their "marketing department" is not doing as well as the Catholic, they ended up not as popular. Somehow Catholicism claims to be the most popular brand of Christianity today.

The article did not interview any Protestant, but I wonder what would they say about this merger. Maybe they will team up with the Open Source and Free Software zealots, and protest against Catholicism as well as Microsoftism (that's how they got the name Protestants, isn't it?) Everything should be free! You should be freed from the bondage of Microsoft Windows (free as in both beer and speech), and you should also be freed from the bondage of Sin, Death and the Catholic Church, for Christ has done it once for all! Say no to Microsoft Tax. Say no to indulgences.

Just another satire story today...