Scott Yang's Playground » Humour

Magic Shop in Queensland

scotty — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:43:54 +0000

Have to blog about dalziel’s Twitter status here:

Go to WhitePages.
Search for “magic shop” (without the quotes) under Queensland.
And you get this:

Not sure whether it’s deliberated at WhitePages/Sensis, but surely it’s funny.

China, According to Beijinger and Shanghainese

scotty — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:06:26 +0000

Via SinoSplice, Chinese Map according to Beijinger and Shanghainese. Although it is a bit of generalisation, you can pretty much see the culture difference between those two mega cities. Click to see the full size image.

It is interesting to see that they both agree on Shangdong, Wenzhou and Xinjiang. And their different opinions on Taiwan. Oh well.

Make My Logo Bigger Cream

scotty — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:59:36 +0000

Agency Fusion’s latest ad campaign, Make My Logo Bigger Cream, where for merely $29.95 you can get not only the Make My Logo Bigger Cream, White Space Eliminator, Starburst Dust, Fluorescentizer, you also get Emotionator that transform your design and website! Funniest ads I have seen for ages, but I think my sites do need some of these treatments.

Residential Colleges at UNSW

scotty — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 13:14:32 +0000

Went to Dominic Steele‘s talk on Matthews 7 at City Bible Forum on Wednesday. Dominic told a joke on residential colleges at UNSW, which I had not heard of before. Here it goes:

Shalom College. Run by the Jews. No pork.
New College. Run by the Anglicans. No beer.
Warrane College. Run by the Catholics. No girls.
Kensington Colleges. Run by the government. No degrees.

Almost everyone laughed. It shows how many UNSW grads there are at the City Bible Forum. It also shows how true the generalisation actually is.

Mark Pilgrim’s Translation of DHH vs. Al3x

scotty — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:48:50 +0000

Mark Pilgrim took the John Gruber-style translation of DHH’s response to Al3x/Twitter’s issue with Rails’ scalability. One of the funnies posts I have seen recently. “My ego is the size of Montana.” Now, if that is the size of DHH’s ego, I wonder what is the size of collective ego of the entire 37signals team? But then you do wonder, whether this kind of “humour” on the net is really necessary…

All Code Here Are “Works On My Machine” Certified

scotty — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:48:09 +0000

Coding Horror: The “Works On My Machine” certification program. All you need to do is check out the code, compile, run and check a specific execution path. It is fully certified if it works! I have just certified all code snippets that I have previously posted here! Now, don’t come and tell me that they do not work on your machine…

Mary, Poor Mary

scotty — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 06:21:52 +0000

The content of this post actually came up around 2 weeks ago at the dining table with Vivian…

First we have the Dan Brown‘s Da Vinci Code, where Jesus married to Mary Magdalene the “Holy Grail”, had kids before he was crucified on the cross, and Jesus’ descendants moved to France to form their own cult. Then we have the Tomb of Jesus, featuring block buster movie director James Cameron, where the bones of Jesus were uncovered back in Jerusalem with other two Mary’s. Presumable Mary the mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdalene — get this — the wife of Jesus.

We will not get into discussion of how utterly non-sense these “discoveries” were. After all, the entertainment sectors know these best –

Create false controversies around popular religions.
…
Profit!

However they are too chicken to mock other religions like Islam and Buddhism. Or maybe there is just not enough profit in it. Either way, the Da Vinci Code and the Tomb of Jesus share some similarities, i.e. Jesus is a mere mortal (debated ever since the resurrection of Christ) and Jesus married Mary Magdalene (only came out over the last decade or two).

You can almost hear Mary Magdalene yelling out from heaven

Aarghh! Aarghh! Aarghh!!! Why oh why!!! Why do all these 20^th/21^st story tellers have to cook up romantic love non-sense between me and our Lord Jesus Christ?!! I am just a follower — a believe in his death and resurrection! I SWEAR!! Got nothing better to do, huh?! I thought I could have some rest after that stupid Da Vinci Code thingy died down a bit, but then what the #$%^!@ a new one just came out from the Follywood!!!

Oh yeah. That is Mary, poor Mary…

Ruby on Rail and Heaven

scotty — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:18:02 +0000

A few humourous programming language stories — Raganwald: Programming Language Stories — where it looks at the attitude of C, Ruby on Rails, Java and Scheme programmers. The RoR one is my favourite as it was a derivative from another popular joke.

Just inside the gates of heaven, St. Peter sits at a desk checking people in.

Peter: “Welcome to heaven. Programming language?”

The man at the front of the line says, “Smalltalk”.

Glancing at his clipboard, Peter says, “Room 33. Be very quiet as you pass Room Six”.

The process repeats itself with the next person in line:

Peter: “Welcome to heaven. Programming language?”

Person #2: “Common Lisp”.

Peter: “Room 17. Be very quiet as you pass Room Six”.

The next person moves to the front of the line with a look of curiosity on her face.

Peter: “Welcome to heaven. Programming language?”

Person #3: “Python”.

Peter: “Room 54. Be very quiet as you pass Room Six”.

Person #3: “Why do you keep telling us to be quiet as we pass Room Six?”

Peter: “Because the Ruby on Rails People are in Room Six, and they think they’re the only ones here”.

That pretty much fits into the RoR programmers’ description on programmers’ hierarchy chart.

The Programmer Hierarchy

scotty — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:42:42 +0000

The Programmer hierarchy — who are considering themselves superior to whom. Very funny, and “people who insist on calling HTML a programming language” seems to be at the bottom of the stack, being considered inferior than everyone else. Another interesting point is the Ruby programmer, who consider themselves superior than Perl programmers, however the foot note says “Ruby programmers consider themselves superior to everybody, but are no aware of the existence of non-web languages…” Ha!

HTTP status code translated into toddler’s language

scotty — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:30:28 +0000

Mark Pilgrim: REST for toddlers. Yet another master piece, and this is just so funny. It will probably make more sense if you were required to design a web server or a HTTP client that uses comprehensive list of HTTP status code. Some of my favourite: 412 Precondition Failed: “If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

Shooting Yourself in the Foot in Programming Languages

scotty — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 11:12:26 +0000

How to shoot yourself in the foot in any programming language. Very funny (if you happen to acquire different programming languages on your belt). For example, “Perl — You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you.”, and “Python — You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you just keep hitting the whitespace between your toes.”

Success, According to Dilbert

scotty — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 04:47:29 +0000

Thanks to Scott Adams for gracing us with such an insightful remark from Dilbert:

“Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did.”

Feel free to substitude “woman” with XYZ who always seems to always have something negative to say when everything is smooth sailing. Not that I agree though, it’s just funny :)

Bruce Schneier Facts Database

scotty — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:30:28 +0000

Bruce Schneier Facts Database, along the line of Chuch Norris Facts. For example, “Bruce Schneier eats 0s and 1s for breakfast. And snacks on pi.” Being a Schneier fan myself, it is very funny indeed. Via ELER.

Why The Mona Lisa is Smiling?

scotty — Sat, 27 May 2006 03:32:27 +0000

Via Kenneth Carlson, “Why The Mona Lisa is Smiling”, appears on Investors Business Daily editorial cartoons dated May 19, 2006.

Well, that pretty much explains it. I think she should probably be laughing out loud instead.

On a related note, is there anyone other than me myself that have not watched the movie nor read the book on The Da Vinci Code? Probably one of the most talked about subject recently, and great opportunity to slip in gospel content in the conversation, but I am ashamed of myself who have not actually read the book.

Any “executive summary”, other than “you mean people actually believe this ‘Da Vinci Code’ nonsense?!?”

修電腦 vs. 看電影

scotty — Sat, 13 May 2006 10:44:06 +0000

為什麼修電腦永遠比不上看電影 — 特別是給在 CSE 學習的同學，從邏輯的角度來分析，為什麼光是會修電腦、裝網路、重灌暈倒叉P 是不夠的。不管你修了幾台，重灌幾次都是一樣的。