Apr 12 2003

Top 10 Signs Your Baptism Service is in Trouble

Found this piece from Ian’s Messy Desk, who has a good collection of humorous Christian jokes

  1. The Coast Guard has to become involved in some unexpected way.
  1. The service is held at “Splash Mountain Water Park.”
  1. The Pastor has to wear a frogman outfit complete with air tanks into the water.
  1. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from JAWS.
  1. The preacher uses plastic animated Billy the Bass’ singing “take me down to the river” instead of the traditional shall we gather at the river.
  1. You hear the pastor say, “Oops! Honestly, sister, I didn’t know about that drop-off.”
  1. The pastor can’t get the rather large person being baptized back up out of the water and calls for “Help!”
  1. The deacon board shows up with fishing gear and packing a cooler.
  1. Just as the choir starts to sing, the Crocodile Hunter jumps out of the water and wrestles the preacher into submission.

And the Number 1 Sign Your Baptism service is not going as it should….

  1. Two Words: Alka Seltzer

5 Comments

  1. Kenny on 13 Apr 2003 at 1:02 pm #

    Number 7 is my favourite….

  2. Johnson on 23 Apr 2003 at 3:09 pm #

    I don’t understand number 1.

  3. connie on 25 Apr 2003 at 5:45 am #

    I think they are all very funny.

  4. GINNY on 14 May 2003 at 7:12 am #

    I LOVED THEM ALL BESIDES NUMBER ONE ( I DIDN’T GET IT)

  5. Winthorpe on 3 Jun 2005 at 7:54 pm #

    I think you had to be there to understand some of them.

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